From the smoldering catacombs of Acorn Sports Island, which can be seen through the sublime green smog of Monster Island where Godzilla vacations in sunglasses and fruity mocktails adorned with a regular-sized umbrellas while clutching his first Academy Award after 69 years and 38 movies, the sports editor and Snot Otter have cast their votes. The Acorn All-Stars for high […]
Sports
Bolts celebrate CIF Final Four
GIRLS’ WATER POLO /// Agoura ChargersAgoura High’s girls’ water polo team made a deeper CIF playoff run than any other local squad this season. The Chargers reached the CIF-Southern Section Division 2 semifinals, falling 12-11 to Sunny Hills on Feb. 14 at Westlake’s pool. “Resilient, emotional and fight are the biggest couple of buzzwords I could give these girls,” said CJ Daland, Agoura’s second-year head […]
Calabasas soccer star wins big
Isabella Rudnick, a Calabasas resident, is a soccer champion. Rudnick, a freshman forward for the girls’ soccer team at Louisville High of Woodland Hills, helped the Royals win the CIF-Southern Section Division 4 championship, the program’s first since 2001. Louisville toppled Monrovia 2-0 in the section final on Feb. 23. Rudnick also helped the squad secure its first league title […]
Clipped
Oak Park girls’ soccer team falls in CIF title gameThe Eagles made history. No one can take that, or anything, away from them. Oak Park High’s girls’ soccer team lost 2-1 to Apple Valley on Feb. 23 in front of possibly the largest crowd in program history during the CIF-Southern Section Division 3 championship bout at the Birds’ Nest in Oak Park. This wasn’t just a game. “This is […]
Birds want that CIF bling
These Birds don’t play like a third-place team. Oak Park High’s girls’ soccer team is the last local squad remaining on the pitch. The Eagles (14-6-2 overall), who lagged behind Moorpark and Camarillo in the Coastal Canyon League standings, will play for a CIF-Southern Section Division 3 championship at 6 p.m. Friday at home against Apple Valley (20-3-1). Malea Johnson, […]
La Reina’s last tango on the pitch
Regents secure league crown, notch first CIF playoff win since 2012The Regents marched home from school on Jan. 24 as regular students. Before they arrived at La Reina’s Thousand Oaks campus on Jan. 25, the girls had all heard the devastating news: their school, their home away from home, was going to close at the end of the academic year. “Everyone was in shock,” said Maggie Kearin, a sophomore forward […]
Green Ghosts reach Final Four
PLAYOFFS /// Winter reportThe Lancers are in the Final Four. Thousand Oaks High’s boys’ basketball team defeated Great Oak 86-82 in the CIF-Southern Section Division 2AA playoff quarterfinals on Feb. 13 at home. The Green Ghosts of the Conejo (25-6 overall) play at 7 p.m. Friday at home against Rolling Hills Prep (25-5) in the semifinals. Elias Chin, a senior point guard and […]
Super Bowl 58 Showdown: The quest to eliminate stupid Roman numerals
Sports editor predicts a Kansas City Chiefs win to cement Swifties’ dynastyThis is the battle for the soul of America. What? You think it’s Super Bowl 58, the K.C. Swifties vs. the Santa Clara 49ers on Feb. 11 in the City of Endless Buffets? No way, José. It’s not right vs. left, crazy vs. insane, Jim Harbaugh vs. Iggy Pop, or even Jim “Cheater in Khakis” Harbaugh vs. Ron “It’s the […]
Snot Otter picks San Francisco 49ers in a debacle, seeks Superb Owl of Joan Miró
When I lived in Lincolnwood, Illinois, near Henry A. Proesel Park, I swear I saw Joe Montana in our family kitchen circa 1988. Is that Joe Cool? I stared intently at the mole on his neck. That’s him alright. I was convinced. So, Joe Montana’s hanging out in my kitchen. I mean, he did call his wife from a sideline […]