MY SON: Hey, Daddy, why doesn’t E.T. come back to Earth?
ME: Because E.T. is from a movie.
MY SON: But Santa Claus is from a movie, and he comes back to our house every Christmas.
ME: Well, E.T. can’t come back to Earth because . . . Remember in the movie when he gets really sick and he turns really pale white?
MY SON: Yeah, I remember.
ME: Well, that’s because our planet got him really sick and made him turn really pale white. And that’s why...