The pain in the mirror




 

 


“Projection always hides a feeling you don’t want to look at. If you examine any negative trait you insist is present in another person, you will find that same trait hiding in yourself. The more you deny this trait, the more strongly you will have to project it.”

– Deepak Chopra

Because the tendency to judge others seems to find a home in most of us, if we are awake enough to bear witness we might discover that when we encounter an individual in whom we see objectionable traits, (such as “people who are a real pain in the butt”) our first reaction may be to want to distance ourselves from that person’s energy as quickly as possible.

And yet we may discover there is something of a magnetic draw connecting us to them at the same time.

As I continue on my own spiritual journey of the heart I have discovered that Deepak Chopra is correct. Every person in my life is serving as my mirror.

Of course, that’s good news, too, isn’t it? When we can see the light in another we can rest assured it is because it is but a reflection of our own light. That just seems to be how mirrors work.

Sometimes I like what I see in the mirror better than other times. Generally, at those times when I can catch myself slipping into judgment, if I can remember Chopra’s mirror concept I am quick to realize that ultimately the person I am really judging is myself. Most often we’ll discover that the real “pain in the rear” is the pain in the mirror- ourselves!

My awareness is that, the more a person offends me, the deeper the trigger point lies within myself. If it were not so, that person’s presence would have no effect upon me whatsoever. There has to be a point of identification within me in order for me to be able to identify it in another. Again, that just seems to be the way mirrors work.

With this in mind I am more able to see what a great opportunity every person offers for me to heal some aspect of my own being when I am open, aware and teachable.

Have you ever considered the idea that the person who bothers you the most might also be your master teacher? It is true! As we spiritually mature, we’ll notice that often our best lessons tend to come to us in the form of the people or events with which we have the most negative charge.

What I have discovered, however, is that being taught by someone who by my judgment is offensive is not easy. This is where I get to play the “God Game.” As I look into that person’s eyes, I silently say to myself, “Okay, God, I know you’re in there somewhere- good try! You almost fooled me this time, but I know you’re in there hiding, so just come on out!”

Amazingly enough, as God’s presence is revealed, the barriers that I have built between the other person and me melt away, my judgment dissolves, and I receive the lesson my teacher has to offer.

Give thanks for these master teachers and be open to the gift they offer you. You will discover it usually centers around a need to communicate more, to accept more, to love more and, most importantly, to judge less.

For the next seven days try working at being teachable by becoming the observer of your thoughts about others- don’t allow any thought, positive or negative, about another to slip by unnoticed, and when that person offers you a rare glimpse into yourself, smile and silently say, “Thank you for letting me see myself in you.”

Take the lesson that is being offered you and see how it applies in your life. Remember also, you are a reflection in their eyes. May they realize that the love they see in you is but a reflection of their own divine nature- no “butts” about it.

Peace.

Dennis Merritt Jones is the spiritual director for OneSpirit Center for Conscious Living in Simi Valley. His website is www.OneSpirit.org.

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