Comedian Mark Schiff and his wife have ongoing battles about cheese . . . and hair.
Mrs. Schiff gets irate when her husband pulls a brick of cheese out of the fridge, takes a bite, and then puts the cheese back—with his teeth marks plainly visible.
“Suppose company comes over and they want some cheese?” she tells him. “They’re gonna see your teeth marks!”
Schiff is equally displeased with her habit of leaving “a pound of hair” in the shower drain.
“You know what I’m gonna do one day?” he says. “...