Surfer rode the wave of life




JANN HENDRY/Acorn Newspapers LOVING MEMORY—Michelle Housego’s mother Diane Appel, left, daughter Kaili, 2, brother Michael, third from left, and father Cliff Housego, fourth from left, are joined by family at a memorial service in her honor.

JANN HENDRY/Acorn Newspapers LOVING MEMORY—Michelle Housego’s mother Diane Appel, left, daughter Kaili, 2, brother Michael, third from left, and father Cliff Housego, fourth from left, are joined by family at a memorial service in her honor.

 

Michelle Housego spent most of her 29 years doing all she could to protect Mother Earth, that traditional feminine figure representing the sum of all things in the natural world—land, sea and sky.

Whether it was helping friends from Oak Park and Agoura high schools to appreciate the beauty of the Santa Monica Mountains, or speeding after litterbugs on Kanan Road to give them a piece of her mind, Housego always practiced what she preached and never missed an opportunity to put into action her deep-seated beliefs about the purpose of life.

This past Saturday, on a day when hundreds gathered at Goleta Beach Park to remember Housego, the picturesque skyline and perfect weather seemed to suggest Mother Earth was returning the favor.

Housego died Jan. 15 after drowning in a surfing accident near the campus of UC Santa Barbara, leaving behind a fiancé, Ben Falk, and their 2-year-old daughter, Kaili. She is also survived by her mother, Diane Appel of Laguna Niguel; father, Cliff Housego of Oak Park; and brother, Mike Housego of Thousand Oaks.

At Saturday’s emotional tribute, one couldn’t take a step without bumping into someone whose life had been touched by Housego’s endearing personality and spirit.

“I think Michelle’s life touched everyone in a special and unique way,” said Mike Housego, 32.

Running against the wind

Born in the city of Orange in 1976, Housego moved to Oak Park in 1987 to live with her father and brother. Her bright smile and pleasant demeanor made her a magnet for new friends, and Rasha Jacobsen, 28, was one of the first drawn to her side.

“She was so beautiful and had this great attitude. She was nice and easy going. You’d meet her and instantly become friends,” Jacobsen said.

Jacobsen says the two girls started the first cheerleading squad at Medea Creek Middle School. But a newfound passion for the music of the ’60s and ’70s soon sent Housego in a more free-thinking and free-spirited direction. She eventually donned dread locks and did most of her shopping at the thrift store.

“If it was mainstream,” Cliff Housego said, “Michelle wouldn’t go for it.”

While some saw Housego as rebellious, Jacobsen said she saw her friend as someone who embraced the culture of the music she had grown to love.

“She was so passionate about music. She loved to listen to Bob Marley,” Jacobsen said. “We would drive around in her car with the windows down and sing as loud as we could. I can remember music could make her cry. . . . I never knew anyone who lived life with such fervor and passion.”

If it wasn’t music, it was the outdoors that brought Housego happiness, as she was always convincing friends to go on nature walks around Oak Park, Agoura Hills and Calabasas. Malibu Creek State Park was one of her favorite destinations, as was Lady Face Mountain.

“When none of us really saw it, Michelle opened our eyes to the natural beauty that was around us,” said Jamie Otelsberg, 28, who attended Agoura High. “She felt a strong connection with the spirit of the Chumash that used to live here, and she always wanted to honor them. She was very adamant and passionate about protecting this area, about ‘respecting your Mother.’”

Housego also felt strongly about following her heart, so when she and Otelsberg decided to quit high school only a few months from their graduation in 1995 to follow the Grateful Dead, there was nothing anyone could do to stop them.

“If Michelle wanted to do something, she was going to do it,” her father said.

And so one afternoon Housego and Otelsberg set off, GEDs in hand, in a beat up old Toyota Celica packed with all their belongings and very little money, in search of an end they could not define.

“It’s not that we didn’t like it here—we loved this place—we just started to feel like we were crawling out of our skin,” Otelsberg said. “We wanted to throw ourselves out into the world and see what was out there. . . . We wanted to burst that bubble.”

Though they would come back to California from time to time, their journey of self-discovery would last four years. Along the way, Housego spent time living in Colorado, Nevada, Oregon and Arizona.

“We discovered more on that trip than we ever could have imagined,” Otelsberg said. “Sure, there were some tough times, but we never regretted our decision.”

Coming home

Housego’s free-spirited adventure came to an end with the loss of her first daughter, Sierra, who died shortly after birth when Michelle was living in Reno, Nev. The baby’s death changed the course of Housego’s life and drove the then 22-year-old woman back into the arms of family. She went to live with her brother and his wife in Salida, Calif.

A year later, the still-grieving Housego got another calling—to move to Santa Barbara—and that’s just what she did, with no money, no home and no job. Her only companion at the time was her beloved dog, Quest.

In 2000, she met her fiancé, Ben Falk, while working at Wild Oats Market. Sharing a love for the outdoors and an appreciation of nature, the two quickly fell in love and eventually had a blondehaired, blue-eyed little girl.

Housego was a natural mother, and friends say her love for her daughter was limitless.

“She was so dedicated and so in awe of (Kaili). They were always together,” Jacobsen said. “She’d never let anyone babysit her. . . . She was an incredible mother.”

The happy family loved to camp at Refugio State Park and loved to go to the beach where both Falk and Housego could surf. In fact, all three were together on the day of Housego’s death. Her surfboard leash reportedly became caught on a rock and despite attempts to save her, she drowned.

Falk expressed his feelings of loss and reaffirmed his commitment to their daughter in a memorium he wrote after the tragedy.

“Our (daughter), Kaili Moorea Falk, is the most special gift life could have given us,” Falk wrote. “It is my honor and duty to fulfill the vision of raising her in the most mindful, productive way possible, and to carry on your legacy of nurturing and nudging Kaili up and down the rocky roads of life.”

Housego was about to begin classes in January to become a nurse, a profession that would have been perfect for her, friends said.

“She was so excited about it,” Jacobsen said. “Michelle was such a caretaker, a nurturer. ”

The family has set up the Kaili Falk Trust in memory of her mother. Please visit the website, www.memoriesofmichelle.com.


Photo courtesy Ben Falk UNCONDITIONAL LOVE—Michelle Housego and her fiancé, Ben  Falk,  share  a  moment  together.  Falk,  an  accomplished surfer, inspired Housego to take up the sport seriously.

Photo courtesy Ben Falk UNCONDITIONAL LOVE—Michelle Housego and her fiancé, Ben Falk, share a moment together. Falk, an accomplished surfer, inspired Housego to take up the sport seriously.

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