Resource center offers support for men




LISA ADAMS/The Acorn  A FEW GOOD MEN-Wayne Levine, in photograph at top, is director of the West Coast Men's Center in Agoura Hills. Men need to get in touch with their feelings, too, he says. Visit the center website at www.westcoastmenscenter.com for details.

LISA ADAMS/The Acorn A FEW GOOD MEN-Wayne Levine, in photograph at top, is director of the West Coast Men’s Center in Agoura Hills. Men need to get in touch with their feelings, too, he says. Visit the center website at www.westcoastmenscenter.com for details.


By Heather Milo
Acorn Staff Writer

The West Coast Men’s Center is for men who want to change their lives, and lately, business has been good.


Center director Wayne Levine, who has a master’s degree in clinical psychology, said that such a resource center for men is extremely rare; adding that there are support centers for women who need help and friendship, but that men have been pushed to the back burner as of late—sometimes out of embarrassment or shame. But it would be a mistake to think men don’t have their own emotional needs, he said, and Levine is confident that his center can help.


The men’s center started with Levine’s vision about a decade ago. Like so many men, he said, he found himself 20 years into a career that he didn’t enjoy. But helping families stay together gave him pleasure.


"I wonder if I could do this for a living," he wondered.


Rather than sharing problems with their wives or keeping troubles bottled up inside as pressure builds, men now have an alternative in the center.


"Men are socialized to handle everything themselves. As a result, they are very isolated." Levine believes these feelings can lead to divorce and depression.


The facility is in Agoura Hills, though it actually evolved from the Center for Creative Change in Newbury Park. The men’s center is now forming support groups which should be highly functional by September.


"They get support they need to be able to better their relationships with other people," Levine said. Several workshops and weekend intensives are planned, both for individuals and couples. As a man who’s been married for 18 years with two kids, Levine recognizes the need for balance in relationships.


"I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish this without the support of an incredible woman. Every man should be so lucky," he said. Levine also cited the invaluable support of Barbara Dobrin, Ph.D., the supervisor who started the Center for Creative Change in Newbury Park. Dobrin is a counselor who specializes in art therapy.


Levine acknowledges the age-old cliché about getting in touch with one’s feelings. However, he looks at the idea logically. "If a man wants to be happy, he needs to know how he feels." Since women are socialized to talk about their feelings, it’s easier for them to express them, Levine said. "It’s not that men don’t know (how to express what they feel), it’s that they haven’t had the practice."


Most men have more in common with other men than they think, he said. For more information, call the West Coast Men’s Center at (818) 879-1600.


A man who walks into the men’s center, Levine said, can expect to feel completely uncomfortable at first. Levine, in dealing with couple therapy, said that a priority is to allow the man to feel emotionally comfortable and safe, and for a woman to feel that they’re equals. Levine cited past experiences in which a man would be "emotionally annihilated" by therapists who hate men and whose sympathies go to woman in conflicts.


How do you know when you have a good therapist? When, after the first session, you have a desire to come back, Levine said. As a counselor, he listens to couples and sometimes the man individually.


Most men seeking help, he said, are primarily in their late 30s to early 50s. They’ve lived long enough to think, "This is not working, but I don’t know what’s not working." They’re arguing with their wives, don’t enjoy their kids and don’t like their jobs.


The new men’s center is about changing attitudes and making it okay for men to ask for help before turning to other forms of "relief" such as alcohol or drugs, or having stress that causes divorce or abuse. "Why do I not feel right?" is a question many men can ask, Levine said.


Not every man needs counseling, he added, but nearly all of them need help with something. Needing help doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with a person. But most men don’t have a close friend or tight relationship with their fathers.


Those factors deprive them of the support they may need, Levine said.


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