Parent alienation is very real




This is in response to the Stephanie Bertholdo’s enlightening article titled in part, “When one parent poisons a child against the other parent.”

On behalf of divorcing fathers in my situation everywhere, I want to thank The Acorn for publishing this article; it is a godsend.

I am a victim of the very real and painful abuse of child alienation. Words alone cannot adequately describe the painful heartache I feel missing my children. It is nothing short of a nightmare.

Bertholdo points out, with little exception, absent emotional or physical child abuse by the isolated parent, child alienation is rarely appropriate.

Although the manipulating spouse knows s/he is using the child as a weapon, they base their victimization of the child on absurd and irrational logic.

In my opinion, although intended by the manipulating parent to punish the isolated parent, child alienation is nothing more than unadulterated child abuse.

Unfortunately, many isolated parents unfamiliar with child alienation make the mistake of thinking they are responsible for why the children are not communicating or visiting.

In almost every case, the parent with whom the children resides is manipulating the child, deceiving the child into believing that not communicating or visiting with the isolated parent is the right thing to do—and nothing could be further from the truth.

In fact, for the longest time, I believed my children did not want to be with me because of my failure as their father, as their provider, as their spiritual authority in our home, etc. when, in fact, my faults have little to do with my children not communicating or visiting me and everything to do with their mother’s coercive power of manipulation to control their natural and innate desire to be with and loved by their father.

It is because I know firsthand the pain of being unjustly separated from my children that I urge every separated and divorced parent, even if you are convinced it’s the right thing to do, if you are alienating your child from their father/mother, I beg you to stop now. Why? Because the real victim is your child, not your estranged spouse.

(Name of Westlake Village writer withheld due to sensitive nature of the topic.)



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