New Year’s resolved


My wife made a New Year’s resolution to be a neater person on my behalf. I decided to be less analretentive on her behalf.

At a party the other night, we met a couple who mirrored us—the girl was the anal-retentive one and the guy was the messy one.

“Opposites attract, don’t they?” the guy said.

“He’s always leaving the lights on in the house,” the girl told us.

“She’s always turning them off,” he said.

This g...

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