Monsters are jerks

Yes, monsters are jerks.
What they love most is to scare women and kids. Because women and kids scream. Loudly. And they run and plead, “Don’t scare me!” If you tell a monster not to scare you, guess what? The monster is going to scare you. And there’s a reason monsters do that. Monsters are jerks.
Some years back, I took my wife and our son, who was 6 years old, into the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. Not knowing what I know now, I thought the monsters wou...

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