One year I voted to replace my threadbare miniature artificial Christmas tree. It had been a bargain purchase at a summer yard sale, boxed and never used.
After a half-dozen years of being subjected to the brusque unfolding of its wiry kinked branches and the torturous bending of them every which way to accommodate appropriately teensy ornaments, the tree was growing frayed and stressed.
To ease the burden I hooked holiday-themed pierced earrings over its limbs.
It’s amazing what an array...