Men now have a place of support where they can find role models





By Michael Picarella
Acorn Staff Writer

After years of controversy over "good ole boys" clubs and their near demise, the West Coast Men’s Center is making it popular again for "men only" to meet.


Husbands, brothers and fathers are becoming better men because of it, according to Wayne Levine, West Coast Men’s Center director.


For over a year, the West Coast Men’s Center in Agoura Hills has provided support group meetings for men between 30 and 60.


According to Levine, many participants didn’t have strong male role models in their lives or they’re dealing with problems of divorce, substance abuse or troubles with building long-term relationships.


"I had gotten involved in men’s work over a decade ago," Levine said. "It changed my life. I had no relationships with men. My father died when I was a boy, my mother raised me and she never remarried. I never had a strong male figure in my life. When I was introduced to men’s work in my early 30s, all of a sudden I had realized what I had been missing."


Levine, 42, has been married for almost 20 years and has two children. He loves his family and says they come first, but he also enjoys working with the men. The challenge, he said, is getting more men to join.


"It’s really hard for men to ask for help," Levine said. "And there’s very little in our culture that sort of supports men to ask for help. They think it’s a weakness. As a result of that, the men in our community are isolated."


Many men face difficult issues. And often they don’t have anyone to talk to or they’re afraid to speak because they think others will judge them as weak.


"Guys may have golfing buddies, poker buddies, may be very friendly with other parents on soccer teams and baseball teams, but when it comes down to it, most of them don’t have anyone to talk to when the going gets rough," Levine said.


Experts agree that men deal with problems differently than women. Women often feel better just talking about their problems, but men usually want to fix whatever it is that’s bothering them.


"Men need to do something about it and it’s not easy," Levine said. "So that support that we get from the other guys really helps us to move ahead … A big part of what the center is about is building a community of men who can count on each other, who can help each other and who can trust each other," Levine said.


"There haven’t been enough efforts to allow men to do things on their own," Levine added. "In fact, most of the efforts in the last 20 or 30 years have actually been in destroying and eliminating those places where men used to gather." Organizations, groups and clubs for males have suffered from gender discrimination lawsuits.


"Men have always needed the company of other men," Levine said. "Back in the United States over 100 years ago––before fathers would have to go off to the city and work––sons were with their dads and their grandfathers and they worked the land and they worked together and there was continuity. There was mentoring going on."


Attendance in the local club has gradually grown. More support groups have been added—Levine said he limits each group to about eight to 10 men each—and the center’s first weekend retreat will take place this weekend, Sept. 19 through 21.


Other upcoming activities include a fun day for fathers and sons and a golf tournament that’s still in the planning stages.


West Coast support groups meet weekly for 90 minutes at 5310 Derry Ave., Suite A in Agoura Hills. The cost per session is $45.


For more information, call Levine at (818) 879-1600 or go to the center’s Website online at www.westcoastmenscenter.com.



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