Is it true kids show little respect?

Parenting today



You’ve probably heard and maybe even said, “Young people have no respect!”

They spend all day on their smartphones, use swear words and seem to have no consideration for others.

This is, of course, a generalization— there are plenty of decent kids out there. But the impudent ones often make more of an impression. They can also influence the behavior of their peers.

If you’re worried your daughter or son might be influenced by one of these kids—or if you worry your child is one of these kids—here are some things you can do to teach respect:

•Take a look at yourself. Do you model the behaviors you want your children to see? Are you polite to cashiers and restaurant servers, or do you make demands and criticize them?

How do you speak about others behind their backs? Do you gossip and belittle them?

Do you wait your turn or rush before others?

Do you hold the door and help people with heavy packages?

Do you exhibit road rage when driving? Remember, your children learn by watching you.

•Take time to teach respect. Begin when they are very young and define what respect is for them. Point out examples as they occur.

“Did you notice how that man is helping the elderly woman with her packages? That is so kind.”

“Do you see that woman who is holding the door for others? She is being respectful.”

Tell your children that you expect them to respect everyone they come into contact with. Reinforce this by praising them frequently when they take turns and when they say please, thank you and excuse me.

When they are disrespectful, stop everything and address it immediately: “You are being rude by interrupting this conversation. You must wait your turn.” “I didn’t hear you say thank you to her.”

• If they are disrespectful despite your efforts, you must provide consequences.

Consequences should fit the age and developmental level of your child and be time limited.

For example: “You took a toy from your brother and made him cry. Therefore, you will not be able to play with your doll until tomorrow.”

•Finally, be sure your home has a climate of respect. No one should be subjected to any form of verbal abuse or humiliation. Home should be a place where everyone feels safe in sharing his or her opinions and feelings.

By exhibiting what you expect and providing ongoing guidance, you are far more likely to have children you can be proud of. What parent doesn’t beam when someone tells them, “Your child is so polite!”

Karen Wrolson of Excite Ed in Camarillo is a life coach, educator and author of “You Don’t Get Me: Understanding Challenging Teenagers.” Her website is www.excite-ed.com.



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