Hot Flashes

Remembering


 

 

In the photo below there are six little faces. All cousins, all crazy, all in for a weeklong birthday bash like none other.

Why? Well, this is no ordinary stinkin’ birthday. You see, three of these little kiddos traveled all the way from Northbrook, Ill., to honor their father, who would have been 39 on March 30.

Sadly, their dad is celebrating from a celestial location, that giant hockey rink in the sky with everlasting Zamboni service and skates that never lose their edge.

Their dear father, Mark, died of lung cancer five months ago, but if he was listening last week over the sound of St. Peter’s harp, he knows he’s not forgotten.

His three little dumplings— Izabella, 5, Charlie, 4, and Ryland, 3—gave me the lowdown on how Daddy made everything special. And how much they love him.

That’s love, not loved.

Generously and oh so tenderly, I heard stories about zooming on Daddy’s jet skis, about lacing skates faster than Gretzky, about cranking out the world’s very best buttermilk waffles, about Daddy sharing his favorite chocolate mint ice cream. Sometimes.

And how he could fix or build anything. Really, anything.

What struck me was how those traits trickle down.

“Hey, Grumps, you need a Phillips screwdriver for that,” hollered Ryland while supervising Grumps’ Mr. Fixit project.

Maybe Ryland was only a toddler, but he was right. He knew what Grumps needed.

“What about that wrench?” Ryland asked.

Uh, Grumps . . . maybe you do need that wrench?

Oh my, genes are powerful things. Thankfully, Ryland didn’t ask for a brewski.

“What’re you doin’ down there, Grumps?” Ryland asked when the old man bent down into an unexpected crouch.

You never know when someone else is going to mess up your project, and the toddler-in-charge was just trying to make sure things went right.

On my side of the screwdriver, I tried to make things right for Mark’s children last week. Beyond the inflatable slide, Disneyland and birthday cake, I learned that death might have physically separated these children from their father, but that’s it. The sweet memories are as vivid as the flash finish on Big Thunder Mountain.

If there’s such a thing as “living love,” I saw it in the eyes of these kids each time they spoke about their father. Somehow they remember how he believed in them. Each one.

“It’s Daddy’s birthday,” they gently reminded me, as if to say, “Hey, you big doofus, Yaya, don’t goof up this important event. After all, we didn’t come to California just to warm our tushies.”

Through all the celebrating, their courageous mother worked hard to fill in the blanks.

“He was in charge of syncing the iPads,” his pretty widow, Jenny, told me about one of Mark’s former responsibilities. Without him, not everything booted up as planned despite her earnest attempts.

You couldn’t miss how hard Jenny worked to keep everything in sync, from iPads to underwear to puddle-jumpers to Crocs. It’s not easy to go this alone without her husband, her childhood sweetheart and the guy who was cheerleader-in-chief of this tribe.

“Hey, Mark . . . this is me, Auntie Kirby aka Yaya reporting in. On behalf of your three littles, so tightly suited up in life jackets and slathered with sunblock, I’m reporting in to say that, thanks to you, we had a rollicking good time on your birthday.

“We felt you there; we could sense your rowdy spirit, and you know what? Thanks for sending a huge bucket of sunshine for all of us.”

Love is eternal, isn’t it? Happy Birthday, Mark, from all of us lunkheads down here.

Elizabeth Kirby has been around a long time—a resident of Thousand Oaks since 1983, whose glass is usually half full if she can find it. Her column appears twice a month in the Acorn. Reach her at kirby@theacorn.com or kirby.hanson@verizon.net. To read all her columns, check out her Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/#!/ elizabethkirbyandhotflashes.


NOTHING BEATS FAMILY—Cousins Gavin Gray, left, Hudson Gray, Izabella Beban, Cohen Gray, Charlie Beban and Ryland Beban invade the Jacuzzi at the Disneyland Hotel.

NOTHING BEATS FAMILY—Cousins Gavin Gray, left, Hudson Gray, Izabella Beban, Cohen Gray, Charlie Beban and Ryland Beban invade the Jacuzzi at the Disneyland Hotel.

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