Dear Pope Gregory XIII,
I’d like to request the removal of December from the calendar. You’re the namesake of that Gregorian thing and I dig your chants, so maybe you’ll respond to my pitiful appeal.
Oh bless me, Father, for I am desperate, as we have celebrated everything here in the land of loveliness, the valley between the Valley and Ventura. We hit ’em hard: trash pickup day, oil change day, psoriasis outbreak day or just a new hair in your schnoz day. Anythin...
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