A matter of integrity

"Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love." —Don Miguel Ruiz

While sitting in a restaurant today I had a major league "Ahha" moment that really whacked me upside the head.

Perhaps you might be able to relate to it—or at least know someone who will smile—because at first glance "it" appears to be a very innocuous form of behavior based on the fact that we all tend to do "it" on a regular basis.

The "it" to which I am referring is gossip, aka the mindless spreading of hearsay, comments and rumors.

As I sat having lunch, trying to mind my own business, the people in the booth directly behind me were having someone by the name of Jane for lunch. And she wasn't even there.

I honestly did my best not to eavesdrop, but the energy of their conversation pervaded the air. They were talking about her in such a disparaging manner that it was painful to hear.

It was in that moment that I became aware that I have also, on occasion, been a target of the same sort of mindless, groundless gossip and rumors. And yes, I, too, have feasted on savory gossip and noshed on tasty, unfounded rumors with others.

In a microsecond, I understood the pain I was feeling for Jane. Those who were talking about her had become my pain because they were a reflection of me.

This message is a reminder of how easy it is to jump into the stagnant pool of mindless gossip in our workplace, our church, the grocery store and even our own homes and neighborhoods. As a sidebar, here is a word of caution to those who gossip: Any person who will gossip with you about others will also gossip about you with others.

Any way you cut it, gossip and the spreading of rumors is counterproductive to creating a healthy relationship with life.

Speaking with integrity in our daily interactions is a conscious choice we get to make every day. I invite you to join me in using this test before we unleash words that may be less than impeccable. Before speaking to or about another person, mindfully ask yourself these questions:

Is it true? Do I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what I am repeating is accurate and true, or is it based on hearsay and assumptions that I or others have made?

What will I gain from repeating these words to others?

Is what I am about to say about another person something I would have the clarity, courage and commitment to say to their face?

Will what I am going to say be using the power of my word in the direction of truth and love? Before we speak, it would do us well to pause and become witness to our thoughts before they become our word. I invite you to join me in using the power of your word in an intentional and conscious manner.

Not just because speaking with integrity is the right thing to do, but because the world needs and deserves the absolute highest and best that we can bring to it.

What we think and say matters, so being impeccable with our word seems like a great place to start. Now that is worth repeating, so pass it on.

Dennis Merritt Jones is a local spiritual mentor, keynote speaker and author of the book "The Art of Being: 101 Ways to Practice Purpose in Your Life." Contact him at www.DennisMerrittJones.com.