Referee at AYSO game not at fault

I was at the now infamous AYSO game last Saturday when there was an assault on a referee. It was shocking and tragic, and the scuttlebutt began penetrating cyberspace before anyone got off the field. I can only imagine what was being said.

I was there within earshot of the referee, from the time of the assault to when he left the park. Even more than the shocking incident itself, what left an impression on me was the referee's conduct.

At no time did the referee ever utter a single unkind, disrespectful remark for the boy, his family, or for anyone else. He didn't react with or express any wish for vengeance. He didn't express regret or anger, although I imagine he felt both. Instead, this volunteer referee modeled the kind of grace and restraint that defines the word "sportsmanship."

Before this incident I felt tremendous respect and gratitude for the referees that come out week after week, year after year and volunteer their time to support our children in healthy productive endeavors.

After watching the way that this ref conducted himself throughout this incident, my respect has grown tenfold, and I truly hope that every AYSO parent will take this opportunity to talk to their children about the lessons learned from the ref.

And of course to consider and express gratitude for all of the volunteers in this community who go so far out of their ways to create opportunities for our children to experience the benefits of team sports.

I deeply regret the events that occurred, and know that there is nothing anyone can do to reverse them. However, every parent has the opportunity to draw from this tragic event and remind their children that what they say and do always makes a difference.

I hope that when people talk about this incident it will only be to draw inspiration from the restraint, grace, respect, and consideration that this referee modeled, and about gratitude for all of the volunteers that support us in this community. Brenda Harari Agoura Hills