Top mistakes couples make

All over the world people desire the same thing from life: a fulfilling loving relationship.

Can partners who love each other stay together for the long term? It's possible, but where is the manual and what is the recipe for a loving relationship?

Learning and understanding the seven top mistakes couples make is a good place to start.

+Talking and not listening. Everyone wants to be understood. Learn to listen patiently with an open mind and open heart. Convey that you really want to understand what your partner thinks, feels and wants. This will create a stronger bond between the two of you.

+Taking your partner for granted. When was the last time you thanked your partner? Let him or her know that you appreciate the things that are done for you. Say "Thank you" more often. Your mate feels good when acknowledged.

+Not sharing quality time together. Do you find yourself constantly on the go, taking care of your family and business responsibilities and hardly having time to be together with your mate? You may even go out to the movies, but is that quality time?

Plan day trips for the weekend or even for just a few hours. It could be taking a walk by the beach or in the park- holding hands. Talk about positive things in your life and goals you want to achieve together.

+Always trying to be right. We all have different opinions, and that is fine because we learn from one another. But it's not important to "win" every argument. If you get angry because your mate doesn't agree, then we are giving the subject power over our relationship. They are not rejecting you; they just may have a different view.

+Refusing to forgive or forget past hurts or mistakes. Do you hold old grudges and keep on reminding your mate of past mistakes? We all make mistakes and grow from them. When we do not let go of the past, those emotions control us and don't allow us to live in the present and in peace. Forgive, and focus on the good things your mate does.

+ Blowing kisses instead of kissing. Many times we blow our partner a kiss and hardly notice them. What happened to those passionate kisses? It only takes a moment for that sweet kiss, and the memory will last the whole day.

+Magnifying your mate's weakness to make yourself feel superior. Do you find yourself constantly putting down your mate and noticing fewer of their good qualities? You may be building a wall between yourselves.

Make your mate feel special and treat them like a king or queen. Be kind and thoughtful toward the one you love.

Bringing these powerful tips into your relationship will go a long way toward creating more love and harmony. You will also become a more positive role model to your children.

Sarah Cohen CHt, PhD, is an individual and couple therapist and founder of The Life Change Center in Woodland Hills. For more information, call (818) 884-5227.