My wife and I have a 3yearold son, which means we don’t get New Year’s Eve celebrations.

First of all, nobody’s going to babysit on New Year’s Eve.

Second, my wife and I are usually so worn out from Christmas we couldn’t even stay up as late as midnight. We’re lucky if we make it to 9:30 p.m.

The only noise I’ll be making at midnight on New Year’s Eve—when everyone else is blowing horns and banging on pots and pans—is the sound of snoring.

Why do I need to see the ball drop anyway? Last year, I Tivoed the TV ball-drop and watched it in the morning. That was great. Normally, I struggle to stay awake just so I can see that ball drop, yelling at the silly thing to hurry up and fall so I can go to sleep. Last year, when I viewed the ball-drop the next morning, I was wide awake. I actually enjoyed it.

Here’s another thing I hate about New Year’s Eve: People always ask me to tell them my New Year’s resolutions. Why do I want to do that? Are they going to prevent me from quitting on my goals? They’ve got their own resolutions to start and quit. They’re not going to help me with mine.

Yes, this year I’ll be at home with my wife and son for New Year’s Eve, just like last year and the year before that. And the year before that. And I’m looking forward to it. Christmas really burnt me out this year, and, like previous years, there’s just no way I’ll be able to stay up late on New Year’s Eve.

I’ve got my Tivo set to record the ball-drop so I can watch it whenever I feel like watching it.

And I don’t have to worry about anyone else asking me for my New Year’s resolutions on New Year’s Eve. My wife might ask me about them, but then again, she’ll probably write my list.

Yes, it’s going to be another great New Year’s Eve.

Then comes the phone call from my in-laws: They’ll babysit on New Year’s Eve! My wife and I can go out, they say. It’s gonna be the best New Year’s Eve in (three) years! Gotta go!

E-mail Michael Picarella at pic@theacorn.com.