Does IQ or personality lead to success?
By Diane Wildhaber Special to The Acorn

Is focusing on academic achievement the answer for success in life or is guidance in developing social skills more important?

What the researchers say

Professor Rebecca Marcon from the University of Northern Florida told Business Week magazine, "Students trained in social and emotional skills perform better in future school years . . . Boys who attend kindergartens that focus on social and emotional skills -as opposed to only academic learning -perform better, across the board, by the time they reach junior high."

Daniel Goleman, author of "Emotional Intelligence," wrote, "Compared to IQ and expertise, emotional competence mattered twice as much. This held true across all categories of jobs, and in all kinds of organizations."

But how do children learn social and emotional skills?

Children need to learn how to motivate themselves, how to get along with others, how to build self-control, how to negotiate, how to listen to others, and how to work together. This is what "emotional intelligence" is. These skills do not just develop with age, they are learned.

Y o u n g children need time to play and to explore. When they interact with their peers, they are practicing social skills. A parent's role is to guide them in learning how to relate to others. They need to learn how to respect the rights of others and how to protect their own rights in appropriate ways.

P a r e n t s can help facilitate these skills by helping children understand their feelings and the feelings of others.

Learning to share, to take turns and to work together takes time, practice and patience. Children need adult supervision, guidance and support to encourage and assist growth in areas of emotional and social development.

Values, morals and ethics, which are "emotional competencies," are learned through life experience and from adult models.

Diane Wildhaber, M.A,. has worked in early childhood education for more than 20 years. She will be facilitating Parent/ Toddler Enrichment classes at the Agoura Hills/Calabasas Community Center starting March 23.