Courageous Max Buelow loses battle against bone cancer

Max Buelow The Buelow family of Calabasas has been tested in ways that no family should have to be.

Their 12-year-old daughter, Emily, has had a rough battle with cancer. Fortunately, she's now in remission, but her 11-year-old brother Max wasn't as lucky. Max died of cancer last Thursday evening.

"No family deserves that and I don't know how they've remained so positive throughout this," said friend Peter Heumann. "Talk about a family that should have a reason to lose faith. Their faith only grew stronger."

Max was diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma (bone cancer) in 2002. A year ago he had a bone marrow transplant but, following a brief reprieve, Max relapsed last spring.

Doctors tried an experimental therapy on Max, said his mother, Tracey. Only two other patients at Childrens Hospital in Los Angeles had tried the treatment, which was previously reserved for adults. Both children had unsuccessful results, she said.

According to Max's mother, the treatment seemed to work well for Max, for a time.

Then, in January this year, Max was rushed to Childrens Hospital because of a nosebleed that wouldn't stop. That simple nosebleed was life-threatening. The Buelow family needed blood and blood platelet donations to help Max survive.

The same way Jimmy Stewart's onscreen community came to his character's rescue in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life," the Buelowss neighbors in Saratoga Hills, their friends and the staff at Lupin Hill Elementary School, the Talbert Family Foundation, members of Westlake Lutheran Church and many others showed support. During those difficult times they raised money, donated blood and offered emotional support as they had when Max's sister Emily needed blood for her leukemia, a blood cancer. Emily was diagnosed at age 41/2. She had a bone marrow transplant when she was 7 years old.

"It's easy to look at the world and (criticize it)," said Max's father, David. "But when something like this occurs, the world is really a good place. So many people who have nothing to gain have come out and have extended their love and friendship to us. We feel really lucky to be in the community that we're in."

"We couldn't have endured all the rides to Childrens Hospital and coped with all of the transfusions, and all the drama with such an illness without the friends and all the people who stepped forth to help us," Max's mother said.

The community was especially supportive when the experimental drug failed earlier this year.

"It did a very good job, but it lost its effectiveness after about close to three months," David Buelow said.

According to the father, Max didn't have many alternatives after that and, on a compassion basis, the Food and Drug Administration approved another experimental treatment for Max. That, too, ultimately failed.

"People always ask, 'How did you do it?' We have faith and we had faith that God would do what was best-not for us, but that he would do what was best for Max," the mother said.

The Buelows' attitude is inspiring, said Heumann. "The reason that people want to give to them is because they never want anything, they never ask for anything," he said. "You can't help but want to help them."

Max's mother said her son made others shine. "Max gave everyone who knew him a precious gift. And that was faith, inspiration and courage . . . People gravitated toward him. He brought out the best in people, and they lent their strength to us, and they prayed for us, and they dropped food off to us, and they donated blood and platelets for Max, and they wrote cards and letters and sent gifts . . . Max inspired people to love. That's a precious gift and a legacy that all of us will carry with us always."

Heumann added, "Max is going to leave a legacy that most adults will never be able to leave. There are people who don't even know Max who were affected by him."

Heumann said he was donating blood to Max one day and met another lady donating blood for Max who didn't even know him; she had heard about him through her granddaughter.

"He was all boy," Max's mother said. "He loved dirt biking. He loved his family above all things . . . He cared about everyone else before himself and wanted to make sure that his treatment and his care weren't taxing the people that he loved-to the point of breaking. He was always so sensitive to that."

Heumann said Max is someone who never gave up. "He was taking an online babysitting course up until two nights before he passed away because he loved kids so much."

Max was most likely positive because his family never gave up on him.

"We never treated either of our kids like sick children and we never let them think of themselves as sick children," the father said. "We're not in denial, but we're really upbeat on how to live your life."

Max and Emily's siblings, Ilsa, 9, and Lena, 4, have had no health problems. Neither Max nor Emily's cancers are hereditary, according to the mother.

The Talbert Family Foundation, which raises money for charitable causes, has collected donations for both Max and Emily in the past.

"We're trying to raise funds for the family again," said Julie Talbert, the foundation's executive director.

Heumann said the foundation passes 100 percent of all donations to the families it helps.

Those interested in making donations to the family can send checks to: The Talbert Family Foundation, Max Buelow, 25003 Jim Bridger Road, Hidden Hills, CA 91302, or call Talbertat (818) 715-0428.

In lieu of flowers, the Buelow family asks that donations be sent to the Bone and Soft Tissue Tumor Program c/o Max's Ewing's Sarcoma Research at Childrens Hospital, 4650 Sunset Blvd., Mail Stop #54, Los Angeles, CA 90027.

A memorial service for Max will be at 4 p.m. today, Thurs., March 23 at Ascension Lutheran Church, 1600 E. Hillcrest Drive, Thousand Oaks.

For more information, please call (805) 495-0406.