Bad news for bullies

A BALANCED LIFE—Cary Trivanovich, who says he was teased as a child, delivers a powerful message aboubullying during a recenassembly at Agoura High School. Trivanovich, who used humor as a shield against bullies when he was a kid, took an entertaining approach to the topic as he addressed the high school students. The assemblies were part of Las Virgenes Unified School District’s push to tackle the problem of bullies in the classroom. In an ongoing effort to address what some experts believe is a nationwide epidemic of bullying on school campuses, Agoura High School conducted a recent student assembly that used entertainment to bring across a powerful message.

Motivational speaker Cary Trivanovich captivated an audience of 10thand 11th-grade students by performing a variety of pantomimes that mimicked teen behavior. Students howled at his interpretation of dating and were moved by a skit that depicted life’s important stages.

“I reel (students) in with entertainment before hitting them with the message,” Trivanovich said.

The message Trivanovich wanted to get across was his personal tale of terror and triumph over bullying.

“I was the kid everyone pushed around, teased . . . they used me as a target for spit wads,” said Trivanovich, who became a target for bullies because he was one of the poorest kids in school and didn’t dress as nicely as other, more fortunate students.

“I lived a terror of a life,” he said, adding he was always alone and would even hide after school to avoid his tormentors.

Eventually, Trivanovich used humor as a shield of protection from bullies. “Maybe if I act goofy I could be popular,” he said. The method worked.

On a day indelibly etched in his mind, a group of “popular” students smiled at him and said “hi.” They thought he was so funny he should take his act to the drama department.

That pivotal moment led Trivanovich to pursue theater, music, debate and other school clubs and courses.

“When someone bullies you, it’s not your problem, it’s theirs,” Trivanovich said. He explained that students bully other students to boost their own self-esteem.

Bullying and intimidation give people a sense of power, but it’s a false bravado that hurts them as much as it hurts their victims. When a student victimizes another student, Trivanovich said it’s as if he’s saying “hey everybody, look at me, I have no character.”

“I don’t care what your circumstances are, what you look like, if you are most excellent in what you do, it doesn’t matter,” Trivanovich said, adding “there’s no fuel for the fire,” when students get involved in activities.

“Those kids that passed me in the hall that day taught me something more important than success,” he said. “They taught me significance . . . a significant person changes the world.”

He asked students to ask themselves whether they tend to build fellow students up, or pull them down.

Janine Jellander, Agoura High assistant principal, asked students to raise their hands if they had ever been bullied, harassed or teased. About twothirds of the 10th graders at the assembly raised their hands.

“You’re not alone,” Jellander said. “It’s an epidemic.”

Jellander said teasing, gossiping or “trash talking” about students in person or online at popular web sites such as www. myspace.com is considered bullying behavior.

“(School) is the place you should feel safe,” Jellander said. “Learning does not happen when you don’t feel safe.”

What is bullying?

Physical–hitting, pushing,

icking, etc.

Verbal–teasing, taunting, hreats and name-calling.

Psychological–stalking, xclusion of group.

•One out of four children s bullied. One out of five hildren admits to bullying

•There were 55 reports of

ullying at Agoura High School last year

•Las Virgenes Unified School District began a bul

ying task force to define

olicy and action.