Support group combats risky teen behavior

A local father and two church leaders are educating and supporting parents so they can help their teens deal with risky behavior.

Teenagers are exposed to drugs, online pornography and deadly games at an early age but, according to recent scientific studies, they may not understand the consequences due to a developing brain that may not be ready to effectively assess the danger.

Substance abuse is prevalent everywhere, said Bob Koff, an Oak Park parent who, in conjunction with two youth pastors from Calvary Community Church, has created a parent awareness group.

Young people often engage in dangerous activities as a way to deal with pressures, Koff said. All youth are at risk and parents need information to help their children stay safe.

The motivation to share his knowledge comes from Koff ’s own experiences with his 17-year-old daughter, who started using drugs at 12. She’s now a recovering addict with the support of a loving family. The road to recovery has been long and arduous, Koff said.

“I realized that I had volumes of information and I wanted to share it with other parents so they could avoid some of the experiences my family went through,” he said.

“We have to change our perception. It’s not about kids being bad, but the kids don’t realize how dangerous over-the-counter drugs are,” Koff said, adding prescription drugs are also a problem.

Koff approached Drew Sams, high school pastor at Calvary Community Church, with the idea of creating a group to share information. Together with Sue Holtsnider, pastor of student life at the church, they established ACT—Awareness, Communication, Transformation.

In addition to educating parents, the group’s goal is to improve communication between teens and parents. About 20 parents attended the first meeting recently.

“Education is the foundation of this meeting. If we don’t educate ourselves and communicate with our kids, it’s almost hopeless,” said Koff, as he pulled out several Acorn newspaper clippings to illustrate his point.

From methamphetamines to peers who drive recklessly, teens face many dangers at school, home or while they’re out with friends.

Young people play the choking game or inhale compressed air, thinking it can’t hurt, but these activities can be deadly, Koff said. Dust Off, a computer cleaner used for inhaling, has a refrigerant that fills the lungs and blocks oxygen, he said.

Last month, a 14-year-old Viewpoint School student accidently killed herself playing the choking game in her Tarzana home.

The most prevalent problem is alcohol, said Anna Merriman, assistant superintendent of instruction and student support services for the Moorpark Unified School District. “We tend to forget that this is a drug and it’s widely used by kids right now,” she said. Parents often think that alcohol is harmless, but it acts as a stimulant or a depressant that alters mood. “It’s the drug of choice because it’s easily accessible at home or through friends,” Merriman said.

Dangerous activities are not reserved for “at risk” youth. “Good kids use drugs and they do dangerous things,” said Koff. “The reality is I didn’t know and it took a serious event to occur for us to recognize our daughter was heavily involved in drugs.”

“There is widespread drug and alcohol abuse, teen depression, suicide and overwhelming pressure to succeed that has caused many teenagers more harm than good,” 25-year-old Sams said.

Sams lost his 18-year-old brother, Kent, to a drug overdose two years ago.

“My family had no idea he was using drugs,” he said. Kent wasn’t an addict and was the only one in a group using morphine pills who had a bad reaction, Sams said.

But drugs aren’t the only problem, according to the parents who attended the meeting.

“There is so much more available to kids than when we were growing up,” said a father, noting that the Internet and cellphones make it difficult to control whom teens talk to.

Koff warned parents about social networking websites such as www.myspace.com and www. livejournal.com.

“This is serious stuff. Anybody can pose as anybody on those sites,” he said. Youth who visit the websites gain a comfort level with strangers, which can quickly lead to a dangerous situation, according to Koff.

While some parents are very involved with their children, others are either uncomfortable or unable to communicate with their teenagers, said Merriman, who suggested adults can stay informed by reading teen magazines, listening to their children’s music or watching teen television shows. Teenagers don’t always want to share their thoughts or interests, so parents have to find out what their children are doing, Merriman said.

ACT is a nonsectarian, nonden o m i n a t i o n a l group, said Koff, who is Jewish. “Calvary is gracious in the help they provide and they have a large teen population, with 700 families who have teenagers living at home,” he said. The group wants to create a network of helpful resources for parents and teenagers.

ACT organizers plan to host meetings every month at Calvary Community Church, 5495 Via Rocas, Westlake Village.

Holly Henderson, who is with Ventura County Interface Children and Family Services, will join ACT on Mon., Jan. 9 at 7:30 p.m. for a meeting open to parents and teenagers. She’ll share expert advice on dating that will help teens avoid dating violence, abuse, and rape, Sams said. 

“We want this to be open to the entire community regardless of religious background, because we believe it takes the whole community to care for all of the teenagers in it,” he said.

For more information, please call Sams at (818) 575-2231.