More college grads coming back home

They’re young, educated, and possess awesome spending powers. Clad in caps and gowns and holding their diplomas, these recent college graduates have one common desire: to eat you out of house and not pay a dime in rent.

They’re called “boomerang kids” and they’re part of a recent phenomenon of young people moving back in with their parents after graduating from college.

After sojourning for years in dormitories, libraries and fraternity and sorority houses, the boomerang kid sees their parent’s home as a rent free sanctuary and a place of stability.

“After finishing city college in Santa Barbara, I moved back home to save money while I attended design school in L.A.,” said Keith Asher, a 22-year-old resident of Oak Park who’s among the many local graduates who’s chosen to move in with their parents following college. “I don’t have to spend a lot of money and that allows me to save it.”

With a one-bedroom apartment averaging $1,000 in Ventura County and $1,300 in Los Angeles County, returning home can be an economically astute decision. But the practice isn’t limited to areas with soaring housing prices; nationwide surveys show that 65 percent of all college graduates flock back to the nest after receiving their diplomas.

“The cost (of) living makes it challenging to live independently with just a bachelor’s degree,” said Claire Telford, executive director of the nonprofit Red Oaks Center in Westlake Village. “A bachelor’s degree doesn’t carry the weight it used to.”

But these post-college reunions aren’t always rife with hugs and kisses, and conflict often arises when parents and children have opposing expectations of the situation.

“When children are off at college, they taste freedom and independence and make a lot of their own rules,” said Telford. “When they return home, there are house rules and the eye of the parents again, and it is much like a step backwards in terms of their growth and maturity.”

Parents often fear that their homes might become the destination for the next community box social if they leave town, and children may become perturbed if they feel mom and dad’s rules and curfews have become an imposition.

“My social life definitely has changed because I no longer have the privacy I had while at school, but it’s been easy on me because my parents are very kind and understanding people,” said Asher.

Janine Lorrand, Keith’s mother, said the arragnment at their home works because of the common courtesy the family members extend toward one another.

“Because Keith is respectful and responsible, we don’t need a bunch of rules and it makes the situation easy for everyone,” said Janean.

Telford believes that a parent can ease the transition period that exists when a child first moves home by explaining clearly how things are expected things to work. Once the children understand how their parents expect them to behave, there’s less likelihood for conflict.

Valerie Sherman, an Oak Park resident and mother of two, saw her son move back home from college nearly six months ago. During the first few weeks of the reunion she was bothered by her son’s raucous behavior and felt as if her home was being turned into a dormitory.

“At first, he was banging doors and playing loud music at night, but as soon as I told him how I expected him to act in our house, his behavior changed and the living situation became very enjoyable,” said Sherman. “I now feel like we are four adults living under the same roof and I’m really enjoying it.”

Money talks

While some boomerang kids return with hopes of conquering debt or establishing a strong savings account, others are attracted by the possibility of having the extra spending power that living at home gives them.

Unlike baby boomers, “adultescents” are becoming increasingly likely to put off the responsibility of independent living, experts say.

The average age for marriage today is 27 years with men and 23 years for women, compared to 25 years for men and 20 years for women in 1970.

College graduates from Oak Park and Agoura are more likely to return home after graduation because of the affluent communities in which they live. A report from USA Today said that households with annual incomes of $80,000 or more were more likely to have a recent graduate come back home.

Solutions to the problem

Many psychologists and parenting experts point out that the “hyperindulgence” today’s parents lavish on their offspring serves as a magnet that attracts children back home. “I see a lot of parents so focused on academic achievement and/or athletic success that they are willing to manage all other aspects of their child’s life,” said Telford. “This can lead to dependent young adults who have trouble making their own decisions.”

The extended child dependency results because the baby boomer generation has a greater emotional and financial investment with their children than their parents shared with them, experts say.

“Having kids return home makes sense in many situations, but parents need to be careful how they handle it,” said Telford. “A lazy, dependent and unsure child will hang on for as long as allowed, but in the long run will end up resenting the system that allowed it.”

In order to eliminate potential problems between parents and their young tenants, the National Endowment of Financial Education recommends that a system of rent be put into place. The money can be used either to cover the young person’s living expenses, or can be placed in a savings account that they can use when they decide to move out again.

A returning nestling doesn’t need to be viewed as a burden by mom and dad. As long as there are clear cut guidelines, parents and children can find great emotional wealth in having the family reunited.

On the other hand, if the cohabitation leads to emotional and financial problems, the parents can always enjoy the money they’ll save on their taxes by declaring their children as dependents.