Chasing Tiger and other misadventures at the Sherwood Country Club

JANN HENDRY/Acorn Newspapers SAY WHAT?—Tiger Woods seemed to be in disbelief when I asked him how he enjoyed the Hootie & the Blowfish concert at the Canyon Club last Thursday night. He wasn’t the only one, either. I borrowed my buddy’s Ford F150 to drive to the Sherwood Country Club for last Friday’s second round of the Target World Challenge.

Sure, I could have rolled up in my former automobile—a salmon colored ’83 Toyota Corolla that my grandpa gave me back when I was riding the bus to work—but I figured that might’ve been a little too flashy for the folks at Sherwood.

I always wanted to make a bumper sticker for that car that read: “Everything I touch turns to salmon.” That brilliant idea, however, never panned out.

Since the salmon days I’ve upgraded to a ’98 Ford Contour, and I’m beginning to feel like I’ve really gained people’s respect.

On this day, however, I’d be behind the wheel of an F150. I felt classy driving the beast.

I wanted to make a bold statement.

This was going to be the first time in my career that I covered a professional golfing event. I was excited and nervous about the opportunity.

BILL SPARKES/Acorn Newspapers WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE BEFORE—Left, Luke Donald watches as Fred Couples stares with disbelief at his miffed chip shot on the 7th green. The shot went no farther than two feet. Donald went on to win the Target World Challenge played at the Sherwood Country Club, earning $1.3 million dollars. Couples finished in a tie for seventh place, earning $205,000. Each day of the four-day event drew large crowds. “Act proper,” I told myself. “Respect the game. . . .Don’t sneeze. . . .Avoid pocketing loose golf balls. . . .Say ‘great shot’ and clap every time, no matter what happens.”

I threw out all of those preconceived notions about how to act approximately 18 seconds after parking the F150.

That’s right about the time some random guy approached me about selling my ticket.

“Got any extra tickets for sale, man,” the 30ish-looking gentleman said.

“Sorry dude, I don’t,” I said to the man, whom I presumed to be a Raider fan because of the simple fact that he had a libation in his hand and it wasn’t even noon on a workday.

JANN HENDRY/Acorn Newspapers CLASSIC TIGER—Woods stares down a fairway shot during last Friday’s second round. After brushing aside the man’s repeated attempts to purchase my precious ticket, I proceeded to the Will Call window to pick up a small piece of paper that would later be used to get my credentials.

The nice lady inside called me “baby” multiple times before handing over the paperwork. I think she liked the fact that I was the only guy there who hadn’t shaved. She then instructed me to board the Bluesky bus outside. The bus, she said, would take us to the course.

Now anybody who’s attended a golf event knows that cell phones are an absolute no-no. That’s why it was so hilarious when a phone went off inside the bus and everyone onboard chimed in with an “ohh” and “ahh” and whatever other wisecracks they could conjure up.

It ended up being the bus driver’s cell phone that rang, so no one got in trouble or was scolded. Oh well, I was hoping for a huge cellular confrontation where some guy takes on four security guards over his right to use his mobile-to-mobile minutes, but the flap ended quietly.

When the bus let us out, I found myself facing the most ridiculously awesome clubhouse I’d ever seen. With its huge white pillars and massive entrance ways, they might as well call this place the White House West.

It’s no wonder it costs $200,000 for residents ($300,000 for non-residents) to become a member at Sherwood. Seriously, how else are they going to pay for all that gorgeous paint?

My next move was to check in at the media tent.

Upon arrival at media headquarters, I looked around and saw a booth for the Associated Press and Los Angles Times, but to my dismay there was no setup for The Acorn.

My first question to the lady in charge was obvious.

“Do you know who I am?” I asked.

She didn’t, nor did anyone else in the building for that matter.

With my Generation X wardrobe, full head of hair and positive attitude, the kind lady didn’t seem to believe I was actually a member of the working sports media. I couldn’t blame her.

After I prodded her and presented some photo identification the lady agreed I was in the correct place and gave me a press pass for the tournament.

And with that, The Acorn’s sports editor was turned loose at Sherwood Country Club.

After looking at the day’s pairings, I decided to catch up with the first group that went out during the morning—Davis Love III and Colin Montgomerie.

Montie, as he is so often referred to, didn’t disappoint.

In the day’s signature moment I saw the Scotsman get his ball lodged in between several television cables off the fairway on the 16th hole.

There was a large group of people watching intently as Montie and an official pulled the cables away from the ball so he could play the shot.

“You won’t have any sound on this shot,” Montie joked.

That comment might classify as a knee slapper across The Pond, but it seemed to fly right over the heads of this crowd.

Likewise, there was nothing funny about the shot itself, as Montie played it left handed with his iron inverted so that the butt of the club struck the ball, knocking it safely onto the fairway.

It was a brilliant shot and the crowd let Montie know it.

After the Montie experience, I decided it was time to follow Tiger Woods, the real master of the links.

I caught up with Woods and his playing partner, David Howell, on the fabulous 15th teebox, which, according to those in the know, is truly Sherwood’s signature hole.

According to one bystander, Wayne Gretzky has a house that overlooks the 15th. I told the man that it was actually my place and that if he didn’t stop pointing and telling everyone within earshot that it was Gretzky’s pad I’d have him escorted off the property. (Don’t worry Wayne, you can repay me some other time, buddy.)

Then, as Tiger lofted his drive over the water and onto the green on 15, I finally experienced that true pro golfing nirvana I’d been searching for all day.

“Get in the hole!” a man yelled.

And there it was, the first “get in the hole” of my sportswriting career. Life for me was now nearing completion.

Pursuing Tiger and his massive entourage proved to be a difficult task. You really have to make a decision whether or not to watch Tiger’s every shot because moving inside his large following is a daunting task.

After Woods finished his round of 72, several of us reporters got to ask him questions.

While everyone was focused on talking about how he played and the course, and all of that type of stuff, I was busy stewing over what question to ask one of the world’s most famous people.

My photographer had told me only minutes before that she saw Woods at the Hootie & the Blowfish concert at the Canyon Club the previous night.

Armed with that insightful knowledge, I came at Woods with the most thought provoking question I could ask.

“Tiger,” I said, “did you enjoy the concert last night?”

He was quick to respond.

“Always,” Woods said. “Darius (the lead singer) is one of my best friends. If we’re in the same city we’re always going to hang out, and if he’s playing I’m definitely going to see him.”

And that was that. It was perhaps the only time I’ll ever interview the greatest golfer on the planet and I asked him about Hootie & the Blowfish.

Looking back now I still can’t believe what an idiot I am.