“The Bad News Bears” is less a kid’s flick than an antisports movie. More like an antihero’s hero movie. The film’s message, meager at best and somewhat haphazard, is that “winning isn’t everything.” Losing, on the other hand, if achieved with utter disrespect and disregard for self-worth, can work and even seem—well, cool.

This is obviously the voice of an apathetic ex-Little Leaguer, thrown into the game by parents who assumed that it was quintessentially American and obviously beneficial and that I would someday become a dentist.

“Bears” tells the story of an ex-Major League pitcher, and a bad one at that, currently a drunk loser (Billy Bob Thornton), who’s reluctantly coaxed into coaching a team of Little League rejects after a lawsuit has forced the town to accept the kids. Thornton is entrusted with turning this bunch of misfits into winners—otherwise, hey, what’s the plot? While the film is funny in some places and cute in others, it’s also a bit too scattered to gel into a cohesive effort. And its constant flow of rudeness and aggression tends to get under the skin and prickle.

Watching “Bears,” I was reminded of the recent Little League incident in Lancaster. A 160-pound, 15-year-old described “bully” was killed by a 90-pound player two years younger. The older boy was allegedly taunting the younger boy, who grabbed a bat and struck the older boy in the face. Onlookers reportedly did nothing to intercede. The 13-yearold was convicted of second-degree murder and an entire league of parents and coaches was exonerated, by the courts and apparently by society.

Already in post-production at the time of the incident, the film contains no lethal viciousness— and yet “Bears” is a smoldering reminder of both parents’ lethargy and young players’ torment. Winning in America is sometimes everything, and in its own backhanded way, “Bears” teases us with our own singlemindedness. But the story isn’t potent or intelligent enough to be either parody or black comedy. If cinema mirrors society, this one’s more of a sideways glance, and “Bears” chooses to poke us in the ribs lightly—not softly enough to tickle nor sharply enough to hurt.

The film pretty much rides on Billy Bob Thornton’s skill to deliver the goods—which he accomplishes with admirable, yet too-familiar, ability. His character is not all that different from the hard-drinking loser he plays in “Bad Santa”—a darker, yet far more witty film. And Thornton’s inner winner shows itself far too late in “Bears” to really do him (or us) much good in terms of character development or likability.

Thornton is surrounded by a team of usual suspects—a bitter, overweight kid; a scruffy blond ruffian; assorted academic geniuses with no athletic abilities (all of ethnic backgrounds, of course); a paraplegic; a misunderstood delinquent who can ultimately clobber the ball; and even the coach’s own estranged daughter who can pitch no-hitters, brought in as a ringer. Neither fairness nor reality plays much of a part in this film. And very few of these kids’ issues are resolved or even considered in the script. Growth is negligable.

As for parental figures, there’s a self-absorbed coach (Greg Kinnear) who relentlessly drives a rival team and a self-absorbed mom (Maria Gay Harden) who pushes her son in directions he’d rather not be pushed.

Somehow, they all meet up for the championship game, where fate will right all the previous wrongs and sort things out in a cosmically Hollywood way. Why not?

In a nutshell: “The Bad News Bears”—a remake of an intelligent Walter Matthau vehicle of the same name—is a cautionary, modern-hip flick for those in need of a few cheap laughs and admittedly even a few good ones, but as a message movie and as a well-plotted film, it only gets to first base.

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