What’s up, doc?

What’s up, doc?

The more I drive up and down our streets, the more I want to give up.

There’s so many drivers up to their ears in cell phones screwing up that I turn up the radio, take a swig of Seven Up and speed up to pick up my wife before I show up at the repair shop for a scheduled tune-up.

Never wanting to be one up on myself, I ask why did this topic come up?

Come on, think something up. I have to conjure up ideas for this column or I’m going to be up to my ears in problems when I wake up.

I could open up the column with something trivial and then close it up with something about my time being up. How about a drain being stopped up and it must be opened up?

Perhaps, I should call up my editor and leave it up to him.

In any case, it hasn’t been clouding up too much, and with the sun shining it’s been clearing up and things have been drying up nicely.

This sure brightens up my spirits, but I admit, I’m still a tad mixed up about all the definitions of up. A good dictionary will list up to 40 definitions which can mix me up about up.

There’s no doubt I need to brush up on my grammar. Even though I brighten up, liven up and sharpen up my use of words for an upcoming column, I often mess up and tear up the first write up before I fill up the space.

Let’s back up and catch up on driving again.

Granted most people buckle up, start up, and turn up the street while dialing up a vital "Waz up?" call.

This means that holding up the cell phone with one hand does not free up the other hand to click up the turn signal.

How many gallons of gas do you burn up waiting for some self-centered imbecile who’s holding up traffic because they don’t use a turn signal?

Do you offer up a pleasant smile or politely raise up one finger in an "up yours" acknowledgment?

As soon as you look up and flip up the finger of irritation, you are amazed at the riled up look on the obnoxious driver’s face.

Heads up now. Remember, you’re just an up-and-coming inconvenience that must be grudgingly tolerated by these self-indulgent upscale drivers.

It’s not my intention to stir up trouble.

Nay, nay, if it were up to me, discourteous drivers would be forced to drive up to the bus stop and pick up their housekeeper in the morning and drive her back to the bus stop in the late afternoon in time for the senora to rest up for her grueling three-bus commute home.

It would take up a lot of time and give these impolites a chance to check up on their considerable inconsiderate driving habits.

However, if we want to even up the likelihood of these people using turn signals, we need to offer up some change up thinking. Example, let’s be fair and divide up the days on which we don’t have to use turn signals.

Are you up to it?

There are three primary colors. These are the colors that cannot be made up from other colors. They are red, blue and green.

We could bring this up for discussion, but for the moment let’s assume I’m talking up the right tree when I suggest that up until midnight on Monday all red cars don’t have to use turn signals; Tuesday it’s blue cars, Wednesday black, Thursday green (when Irish eyes are smiling), Friday white and on the weekends it’s up to you.

I tell you this speaking up about rude drivers has caused me to work up an appetite with a hearty thirst to lift up a pint or two.

If we don’t have to line up, I’m up for corned beef and cabbage. Enough for take home that I can warm up on the morrow.

I figure that if I open up the office tomorrow but don’t close it up, I’ll have ample time to finish up the column and make it up to traffic school because a citation for failing to indicate a turn on a green light isn’t enough for me to get all dressed up.

Besides, I’ve already blarneyed up.