Parents look at empty nests

Every year nearly 4 million college freshmen leave home. Many parents discover that, after 18 years of child-rearing, they may have peace and quiet but they miss having their kids at home.

"The dilemma parents face is how to stay in touch and be part of their children’s lives, while still giving the kids their space," said Dr. Andrea Van Steenhouse, psychologist and author of "Empty Nest. . . Full Heart: The Journey from Home to College."

"The good news is that technology like instant messaging and e-mail can help."

Nearly two-thirds of people age 18 to 27 have used IM and nearly all of them use e-mail.

Both offer great ways to communicate with young people.

Instant messaging is like e-mail except messages are sent in an "instant," so conversations happen "live." It’s faster and easier than sending e-mail.

The most popular free IM service is MSN Messenger, which you can get at MSN.com. The site also has a free e-mail service, Hotmail.

While students may not admit they’re struggling on their own, many do. A quick note from a parent can go a long way toward helping freshmen make the transition.

"The Internet is a wonderful way for parents to feel involved in their children’s lives and maintain contact with them in a way the child feels comfortable with," Van Steenhouse said. "With instant messaging or e-mail, kids can quickly get that vital information only parents seem to know."

Van Steenhouse’s top five tips for parents include:

1. If you don’t have e-mail or IM, get it. You can sign up for free Hotmail and MSN Messenger accounts at msn.com.

2. E-mail and IM are read more eagerly if there’s positive news.

3. Kids may use e-mail and IM to communicate new ideas to their parents—even if it’s head shaving, tattooing or changing majors. Use IM and e-mail to find out more about what’s going on in their lives.

4. Non-intrusive questions, such as "How was your weekend?" may yield more sharing answers.

5. In addition to chatting, you can send news stories, photos, even video.

This story provided by North American Precis Syndicate, Inc.