Everything on

Let’s take a longer look at the Los Angeles County seal.

What’s that thing on the left—a microscope? Science has created many problems for mankind. I hear the drug Vioxx caused 80 to 100,000 heart attacks. I don’t appreciate the county promoting an institution that causes health problems.

The Spanish galleon on the left brought disease and extermination to the Native American posed in the middle of the seal. I don’t think the county would promote that happening anywhere today—do you?

The tuna at the bottom is so full of heavy metals that we’re warned to eat only a small amount, if any. Is the county trying to get me sick?

The cow on the bottom right is one of the biggest causes of heart disease. The county must own some cattle interests somewhere. Remove it now.

The mission on the right was also a part of the Spanish system that brought so much misery to the likes of the lovely maiden at the center.

What is that at the upper right? Is that the Hollywood Bowl? I resent the county promoting a money-making venue. Is this governmental product placement? Take it off.

Let’s look at the acorns in that basket. Not everyone realizes that acorns can kill you if prepared improperly. I swear the county is trying to kill us.

While we’re at it, take off the woman, too. If it weren’t for Native Americans, there would be mammoths, camels, giant sloths and other animals they’ve been blamed for wiping out.

Leave the seal blank. Just a solid color—as long as it isn’t red, white, yellow, brown or black, lest we offend a racial group.

No, forget it—let’s have no seal at all. That way no one will be offended––except the people who design seals.

Lorenzo Aguayo

Calabasas