If Words Could Talk

By Bill E. Brock

"Aoccdrnig to Rseraech . . ."

My editor sent me a note commenting that people on the Internet print outright lies and liebelous remarks and get away with it, unlike newspapers.

Now, being the desperately seeking self-esteem columnist that I am, I quickly looked up the word liebelous and ah-ha, there is no such word.

This exoneration (which I discovered while flipping through the big word-book) meant he wasn’t referring to me and my column on the fear of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

That just goes to show you that editors don’t know everything. People are more afraid of jam than jelly, but that’s our secret, along with the mayonnaise phobia.

While reading the dictionary and getting thoroughly confused about the metric system of footnotes used in scholarly writing, I signed on to the Internet for a libel lie with my coffee.

Before I could remind myself for the umpteenth time not to put the quart size coffee mug where I must reach across the keyboard, I spotted a very interesting e-mail through the coffee spots which I quothed to thee.

Aoccdrnig to rseraech at Cmabrigde Uinervitsy, it deosn’t mtater in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a tatol mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

What a discovery! Spelling rules just went out the window with a few drops of cold coffee. Of course, I quickly realized that I hadn’t escaped the 10 most common spelling errors like how many "C’s" and "S’s’ are in accessory.

And, I still have to deal with those three-letter words, with which I communicate very effectively, I might add.

But, still, any word with more than three letters could really get meixd up and who would know if I spelled it rite?

No one in their write mind (except maybe an editor) would rearrange the letters.

After the thrill of discovery had oozed over me, I wiped the coffee pooled around the mouse and put my "Beware of Editor" hat on.

I needed to check this one out. Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it’s a lie. And a liberous one, too.

I won’t bore you with the in-depth forensic approach it took to type in a search for "Aoccdrnig to rseraech. . ." But, the results were enlightening—like discovering Coke was originally green.

David Harris, who comments on science and literature at salon.com, receives the award for first bloging this meme.

Now, I had to search the Internet to find out exactly what this meant. Bloging the meme is not something I use in everyday conversation because to begin with it has more than three letters.

Bloging started out as weblogs. This is a kind of Website that tracks and links other Websites in chronological order, with the most recent showing up first, dealing with comments about one subject and in this case it was the meme "Aoccdrnig to rseraech. . ." It could have been why doctors call buggers "crust."

Whoa, Trigger, "What’s a me me?" asked the lady wearing sparkling spandex. Well, buckaroos, spandex worn correctly is libidous. No, wait a minute, I mean it’s not me me; it’s meme like beam.

According to word sooths, a meme is a perpetuating bit of "culture" that infects, affects and effects each person who neglects to deflect the defect. It could be a song, an opinion and/or a fashionable way to part body hair, I think.

From the weblogs, I could see the Web proliferating (or is it propagating) what according to Harris started out as a very informal experiment just to see how many sites would pick up the meme.

He changed the paragraph slightly over several days and posted the changed versions for more accurate tracking. It’s exploded over the Web, like boiled eggs when the water evaporates. Bits and pieces fall from the ceiling for 1weeks.

Now, for the good news. After labor intensive exploration, I discovered (Where do I plant the flag Mr. "C?") he who was the originator of "Aoccdrnig to rseraech. . ." PhDed, Dr. Graham Rawlinson whose thesis was The Significance of Letter Position in Word Recognition.

True or False: In the following statement, all four letter words have

repositioned letters.

Me tlak him soon. Me tlel you mroe.

(Clal eidotr for cerorct awsenr.)

On, dot’n clal teh eidotr! If yuo od, l’il giev yuo Blil Borck’s pohne nmubre!

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