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Love one another–and make your own popcorn Love one another–and make your own popcorn Be especially nice to your significant other right now because tempers go up with heat and humidity. While almost any adult is capable of exploding, husbands and wives are the most volatile. Children almost annoyingly can ignore hot weather, but their moms and dads can go haywire in nanoseconds. For people who live with walking time bombs, hot weather can be downright dangerous. Full blown fireworks can erupt at any time. Imagine the following conversation: Him: "It’s almost time for the HBO movie. How about some popcorn?" Her: (Getting up.) "Oh I guess so." Him: "And while you’re up, could you grab me a cold beer?" The wife goes ballistic. Gritting her teeth and veins popping, she brutally informs him that she isn’t a slave or cocktail waitress. She vents about a week’s worth of "I’m sick and tired of this (expletive deleted) heat" in less than a minute. She includes graphic details about what he can do with his family and friends—or anyone else who gives him the notion that she’s Orville Redenbacher or one of those cute girls who fetches frosty bottles in beer commercials. Fearing for his life, the husband goes into full retreat, profusely apologizing while quickly forfeiting his Lazy Boy and remote control. He makes the popcorn, delivers it in separate bowls and dutifully serves an ice cold Pepsi to his normally level-headed and understanding spouse. At last check, they’re still married, but the husband is on probation until cooler weather or football season returns (whichever comes later). So watch out for grumpiness and irritability when the thermometer and humidity both hit 90. If your air conditioning goes out, check into a hotel. Call for room service and save a marriage—or maybe even a life. Editorials RSS feed |
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