Facility also
helps women

In response to K. C. Durfee's tongue-in-cheek letter of "caution" in last week's Acorn, your good wishes are appreciated and your story is quite familiar to those who have engaged in this process of making good men better.

But I'd like to clarify a possible misconception about the West Coast Men's Center. We really aren't a private club for men. In fact, we welcome women. I work with men individually, in groups and in weekend retreats. But I also work extensively with couples-teaching them how to improve their relationships-and with women-who want to learn more about their men and how to deal with their own frustrations in their relationships.

The "pendulum swing" of the '90s rendered the image of men drumming naked in the woods as a cliché and a weapon of shame. In response to the bashing from the mainstream press, many of those good men retreated. Some are still doing the work, but they're difficult to find and most are in no rush to attract too much attention again. I don't blame them.

But I think times have changed. The good women with whom I've worked, individually and in couples, want their men to have other men in their lives. They don't care what he's going to do in his men's group or at his retreat, as long as he comes back a happier man, less angry, more patient and better equipped to be the husband, father and man he'd always wanted to be.

Women understand intuitively the importance, for their men, of having strong and trusting relationships with other men-like what many women have with each other. They've come to realize that they alone cannot give their men everything they need; they alone cannot "fix" their men. All they can really do is take care of themselves and encourage their men to do the same.

Although most of our work at the center is with the men, the results are intended to benefit our women, children and communities. And with the support of the good and loving women out there, we're off to a good start.

Wayne M. Levine

Agoura Hills